My mom's fucking parrot is driving me nuts. I knew something was wrong, when I started thinking about ways to poison the bastard. I had to escape the house.
It's Earth Day right, so I went to the park to jog, work out, get some fresh air. I took my kashina bokken with me, because my other ones are starting to feel too light. Which is probably how I keep fucking breaking them. So, I'm practicing and minding my own business when some guys around my age (within a year or two) come up to me. They were talking to me, but I wasn't paying much attention until one of them asked what belt I was.
Their explaination was like, brown or black, mostly they drawled in the way only people who live in Virginia can. They explained to me what school they were from. Immediately the term 'black belt factory' came to mind. When I told them that I wasn't any 'belt', they pretty much insulted me. Which, no matter what martial art you practice, to have your skills insulted is more than an insult to you. It's an insult to the person that trained you along with your entire school. These matters are not to be taken lightly. They knew I was pissed off. They knew I wanted to shred them with my bare hands. But I stood there, silently. The patience I've learned. Then they asked me if I was any good without a weapon. Who were these guys kidding?
"You mean hand-to-hand? Wanna try me?"
One guy was bold enough to step up. I was pissed off when one of his friends suggested it was a bad idea because I was 'Asian'. Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, etc...really fucked us over. Assuming all Asian people know martial arts is like assuming we're all smart with stubby dicks. I understand fully now why most English people I've met hate Hugh Grant.
I won't pretend that I was trained under any school to do hand to hand combat, but I can also tell that the school this guy came from had no significant lineage. He had fancy footwork, but that was it. He couldn't even get a hit on me, but I fucked him up pretty badly. He got pissed and called me a cheater, stating that what I was doing wasn't real martial arts. I laughed. Psh. That bitch asked me if I was any good without a weapon, he didn't say it had to be martial arts. I'm a grappling, rough-ass son of a bitch. My honorable fighting only comes when I have a sword in hand. Police were called. He's pressing charges so he can sue me for damages. The good news is he won't be able to suck more than 10 grand out of me. The bad news is, this just furthers the reasons why I hate Americans.
Revenge is a dish best serve cold. While I got him back for all his smart ass comments about my skill and Asians in general, I'm going to have to pay for it. And all because a bird was getting on my nerves.
So I ask you, anonymous members of Livejournal, was it worth it?
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