So, the music thing. The school thing. It's all so great right now. I'm happier now than I've been in quite awhile. Well, due to the accident, I'm not completely sure when the last time I was this happy was. Oh well.
My bass skills and my voice are so amazing to me recently. My voice particularly. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate tooting my own horn, but it sounds great to me recently. My kendo skills have improved significantly, though that's something I definitely miss Kobe for. I mean, America is great, but it's not exactly the best environment to hone my skills.
My personal life has become nearly non-existant. I've talked to Harini a few times since the huge blowout, but I amazed myself when I just woke up one day and realized I really didn't miss her nearly as much as I thought I did. My friends are amazing, LIFE is amazing. Right now, as far as a new relationship goes, if one comes along and catches my fancy, that's cool. Otherwise, I'm just as fine. I'm at this point where I feel so great about myself that I can be with someone or not with someone and it's still all good.
My family relations haven't gotten much better. My mother tries to act strong, like it doesn't bother her, but she feels the growing hostility between me and her boyfriend. I'm really not trying to force them apart. I'm thinking about transferring to a different school, maybe back in Japan, just to make things better for her. I don't want her to choose. I don't want her to feel like she should have to choose.
At the same time that all this good stuff is going on, I must admit, I've also never felt so vulnerable to other people. Me and Poptart have always been vulnerable to each other, but that's a bestfriend thing. I mean, in general. I've become a lot more sensitive to certain things, like Alec's distance from the rest of the family, my mom's bitterness over her lack of wealth AND over the fact that, essentially, I AM wealthy. Money that's shortly going to be all mine. I would, of course, make sure that she's properly taken care of, but just her. Not that asshole she's dating. Technically, once I inherit, I won't even need school. Everything is so well taken care of that it'll last long after my lifetime, even with a luxuary filled lifetime.
I've recently been feeling so close-minded. I have like, the same circle of close friends and no one else. I want, not necessarily 'new' friends, but more friends. Blegh, yeah.
POPTART I MISS YOU, KAY?
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