Britt's mom finally got in touch with me. It isn't that I was avoiding her really, but I already knew what she was going to say. When I called her, it was no different than what I thought.
"Have you heard from Britt? Because, you know, the other day I told her to go get her blood pressure checked because something is really wrong if she's getting dizzy all the time."
People are so fucking amusing and amazing at the same time. Some people who claim to be close to her and her fucking friend or whatever, don't even really know her at all. But they think they do and that is how they become both amusing and amazing at the same time.
Ever heard the saying, "The man who knows something knows that he knows nothing at all"? That is the secret around the very foundation that makes that incredible, amazing, special person. A lot of people don't understand what keeps us friends. Honestly, it's love. Of a non-romantic variety, which is what makes it so much better than any other sort of love. It's complete understanding; an unconditional acceptance. Which, no matter what anyone thinks, is not something that can be found in a romantic relationship. You can't even really get it from your parents. In fact, if there was ever any romantic feelings in our friendship, I would end it. Right there on the spot. I would rather have the memory of a beautiful friendship then something unexplainable and flawed. I feel just that strongly about it and her.
Which is why I absolutely fucking hate the way she's been acting lately. Before I lost my memory and after I began getting my memories back I loved telling people about my best friend. "My bestfriend is better than yours." "My bestfriend is hotter than yours. In fact, she's hotter than you." "My bestfriend is definitely cooler than yours." She still is all of those things, but something is also different there. She is a lot more quiet and secretive, which, with other people, I wouldn't give a fuck. But with me? That fucking hurts more than you would believe. I tell her EVERYTHING. Seriously. Ever had a converstation with someone and held back? I don't. Not with her anyway. As gross as it may sound to someone who doesn't love someone this much, I would give her a fucking organ if she needed it. If I was a blood match and she needed a transplant, seriously, I'd commit suicide so they could harvest my heart and give it to her. That's how serious about this I am.
There are so many emotions people can waste, so, if you can't love intensely, then what can you do that intensely? I wanted to throttle her today through the phone when I told her about what her mom talked to me about. She basically had this 'what do you care?' sort of attitude. I cried for an hour. I never cry.
I care. A lot, you bitch.
|comments: Leave a comment|